now what?

I’m trying not to have a quarter-century crisis, but I’m afraid it has already settled in.

Last night I figured out what I wanted from life – to be happy.  I kinda knew that all along, but that’s my primary motivation behind most of my activities.

But what else?  What if I don’t know what will make me happy?  I’m talking big stuff – jobs, significant others, geographic location… that kind of thing.

I’m up against a wall right now.  A wall of options… and there are zillions of them.

Now’s the time to make another major change.  Like, right now.  Changes need to start happening ASAP.

The only regular/nonchanging thing in my life right now is my running goal (as in, my “goal of running”).  I’m still going strong on my Couch to 5K program :)

oy.

Let’s face it… I’m over this city.

Obviously, as a New York City native, the city will always have a special place in my heart.  I will always appreciate everything this city has made me – how it has shaped my personality, and accent, since I was a little Deva.

I’ve been borderline obsessed with leaving NYC since… well… January.  Maybe.  I think about moving all the time, but I’m not sure how much of that is due to my innate mobility/non-settling nature and how much of it comes from the fact that NYC is one big city of mayhem and foolishness.

About 15 minutes ago, I took the “Do you belong in New York” quiz from Time Out New York.

My results:

DO YOU BELONG IN NYC?
No. No. No!
What are you still doing here? You don’t take advantage of what New York has to offer, and you’re clearly irked by all the sacrifices you make to live in the city. Go on-the open skies and low rents of Montana await. But there’s hope for you yet! Click here for suggestions about how to really enjoy NYC. Who knows-maybe you’ll change your mind.

Do you belong in New York City?

Clearly, I should book the first flight out of here – and never return.

deva in da’ house

That’s right, suckas. I’m back. Broken, but back.

The past, umm… forever, has been pretty hellish. You can blame my job for everything. Everything.

Quick run through of what I’ve been up to:

1. I moved to Astoria (loving it)

2. I’ve been working 12+ hour days since February 5th (f that)

3. I found an eye doctor and my vision hasn’t changed! (I know no one actually cares about this – but it’s an exciting thing for me)

4. Beth and Rob (College Park roommate and her fiancee) came to visit (awesome). I got to address their wedding invites :)

5. I took my very first boxing class (so… much… pain)

And here I am today. The boxing class was last night, so I’m still suffering from the effects. Walking down the stairs has never been more painful, and I’m scared of getting run over on the subway. I plan on taking this boxing class until I don’t hurt anymore.

Anyway, what’s on my mind nowadays? Hmm…

In the past 48 hours, I’ve been doing a lot of event planning. Adam, Ryan and I are going to Atlanta. We’re also going to see Watchmen IMAX style. And then we’re going to Europe in May?

Yeah – I don’t know about the Europe thing. Student loans are a real downer. I need to start saving up for my blogger trip to Chi-Town in June anyway. Right now, I want to focus on US-travel.

I’m also planning Selection Weekend (April 30-May 2) at my job. It’s the final deliberation round before we pick our new 2009 fellows. There’s also a cocktail party. Get excited.

So, life in Astoria is about 2 gazillion times better than living in Ridgewood. My roommates are normal and I don’t feel the need to stay in my room all the time. I also have a normal sized shower. On the whole, I’m much happier here.

In other random news, I bought The Lonely Island’s first album, Incredibad. This was probably my first impulse buy of 2009 (I’m really glad it only cost me $9). I can’t say I regret the purchase – how else would I get all of my favorite SNL digital shorts as an MP3 (except “Iran So Far”, sadly).

Yes, I’m a nerd. And I laugh at almost anything.

My two favorites are Sax Max (featuring Jack Black) and Boombox.

PS: I love Andy Samberg.

Okay – this post is random enough for me to call it quits. I’ll come back when I’m a little more focused.

i’m moving… again.

As of last Saturday, I have a new place to live. And I can promise that my new roommates are not crazy.

Thank God. No, seriously – Thank the LORD.

The big day is January 31st. Hopefully, the entire moving process won’t take too long… it’s not like I have a ton of stuff. But I’m trying to sell this silly sofa bed I “inherited” from my Uncle when he helped me move here. No one wants it :(

Now, why on Earth will no one buy this sofa bed from me? Who doesn’t love a sofa with lions on it?! Come on, guys – $50 is a STEAL for this high quality product.

ANYWAY – if no one buys it, I’ll probably give it away. If I had the means, I’d totally drop it off at the Salvation Army, but I don’t have a car. Shame.

So yeah, I’m moving on January 31st and I’m stoked. Queens to Queens… I’m not going very far (8 miles, maybe). At least my new apartment is 15-20 minutes closer to my job.

Other improvements with the new place:

1. The floors are level and carpeted (not cracked, uneven and linoleum-covered)

2. The bathroom is twice as big (big improvement)

3. There’s a TV in the living room… and it has cable and DVR (that’s bad news for me)

4. We REALLY have wireless internet

5. I can have “junk food” in the “common area”

6. My roommates have had roommates before

7. The landlord and her family are super awesome – and they have a black lab :)

That’s good enough for me. Start the countdown.

AND SOMEONE PLEASE BUY MY SOFA BED.

complaints

How do you know when you’re fed up with something?

I’m so, so, so, so sick of this apartment. I really want to kick myself for agreeing to live in this place; I totally should’ve passed this one up. My rent is super duper cheap ($600) but I’m getting what I paid for, which is unfortunate. There are so many problems with this place – I’ll list a few:

• The bathroom is slightly bigger than my full sized bed. That’s pretty damn small.
• I already can’t tolerate hair all over the bathroom (most of it belongs to my roommate), but since the effing room is so tiny, it really grosses me out.
• I don’t like small bathrooms. I didn’t realize this until after I moved in.
• The stove is “impossible” to clean (according to my roommate – who I will call “J”). So there are a few roaches.
• The kitchen cabinets are ridiculously unorganized – and since it’s not my stuff, I can’t really move things around. J is not good with change.
• J doesn’t own a bottle Windex – or any other modern cleaning product. Maybe Ajax is kinda modern, but that’s all she’s ever bought. I have my own modern cleaning product stash.
• The living room is insanely boring looking and my roommate is not good at negotiating.
• I’ve been here for over a month, and there are things J has promised to do… and she hasn’t taken care of them yet. I don’t think that’s fair to me. When I try to bring them up in a quick conversation, it turns into a 3 hour discussion – and she’s missed the point.
• There are only 2 closets in this entire apartment. One of them is in my room. There isn’t a lot of storage space.
• The landlord is not at all professional about his job.

Okay, okay. I’m done. Basically, I want OUT of this place. I would prefer to move as soon as possible, but I don’t think that’s a good idea at this point because I’m kinda poor. I have to get my money issues together before going through another move. I absolute can’t imagine living here until next summer if J stays. Adam would have to check me into a mental institution – I would go crazy. Unfortunately, many of my issues are because of J.

I need my own apartment. Or a normal roommate.

If anyone knows of someone (quasi-normal) in the NYC area looking for a roommate, pretty please let me know. I’ll probably try to move around February/March.

***Note to self: When I change jobs, I might have to leave NYC and find a city with a more affordable cost of living. Of course, where I go depends on the salary of my new job.

Ugh. Am I jumping to conclusions too soon? I’ve only been here for 40ish days, but I am not liking this place at all. Should I try to wait it out for a little longer?

start the countdown…

Tonight is my last night in Connecticut.

That means, MOST IMPORTANTLY, no more commuting for 4+ hours, Monday through Friday (and sometimes Saturday and Sunday).

It also means:

a) I get to sleep until 8am every morning (and can stay up past midnight without freaking out)

b) I can start aimlessly wandering around the city

c) I have a place to live in the city (duh)

d) I have no excuse not to visit my family who already lives in the city

e) Adam will probably be seeing more of me

f) I can start crocheting and cooking (not at the same time) again

I’m almost looking forward to Monday because it’ll be the first day of my new commute :)

All of that aside, I mostly enjoyed myself with my Connecticut family. I actually wish I could’ve spent more time with them – sadly, I’m pretty sure I spent the majority of my time commuting. I’m forever grateful for them letting me live in their guest room (not completely rent-free, but really low rent) and eat their food for 4 months. It’s been real.

Now it’s time for me to get the hell out and (finally) get a life. Booya.

*** Side note: I’m hoping not to spend over $600 at IKEA tomorrow. I would really hate it if I did… but I actually have a lot to buy, so that could be hard. Dammit.

act 3: _______

When I first thought about this “weekend-in-three-acts” thing, I thought I had the three acts all planned out. Unfortunately, act 3 (which I’ve been trying to write for about 20 minutes) never amounted to anything informative, so I decided to delete it.

So, in it’s place I’m going to write about something else: what’s next after NYC?

I’ve been on the East Coast my entire life – except for those times I briefly left the area. I’m a fan of this side of the States. Aside from the insane humidity over the summer and the growing inconsistency of the seasons, it works for me. I started in New York City, moved to Roanoke, spent some time in Charlottesville, and then DC/College Park – and now I’m back in the Big Apple.

After my stint in NYC (maybe 2-3 years), it will be time for a more drastic change. Chicago? Atlanta?

But here’s my problem: I don’t know much about what this “glorious” country has to offer. It’s not mandatory that I live in one of those big major cities. I just don’t know how to pick up and move somewhere. How do people end up in those smaller cities and random suburbs?

That said, I don’t think I’m anywhere close to “settling”. For starters, I’m still single. I have nothing holding me down (well, besides my sanity). Second, not only do I have 90% of this country left to see – I have so much of the world to visit!

I better get to livin’… (sorry about the Dolly Parton reference)

*** Side note: spending time in Atlanta this past weekend got me thinking about where I could see myself after NYC. I like Atlanta. It’s nothing like DC (which is nice), it’s much cleaner than NYC (also nice) and it’s warmer than both places (bonus points).

I’m outta here…

Tonight is my last night in Maryland FOREVER.

For some reason, I’m completely emotion-less about it – I have absolutely no feelings whatsoever about this relocation I’m about to pursue. I mean, I’m moving to Connecticut (and soon after, to NYC)… that’s a big deal, right? I’ve never lived in Connecticut before.

But no. No emotions from me. I think I’ve been thinking too much about other things (mostly whether or not all of my crap will fit into my car) – and the idea of “leaving the place where I spent the past 2 years of my life” hasn’t really sunk in.

…so, it’s 12:06am and unfortunately I’m just realizing I don’t really have time to write at the moment. I have about 5 trillion other things I need to get done before 8:30am… I’ll have to write more when I get home (my parents house in Virginia). I’ll reflect a bit and perhaps try to conjure up some emotions.

Oh, and did I mention I’m really excited about seeing my dog when I get home? I even bought him an adorable doggie treat from the mall :)

Adios, College Park FOREVER. It’s been real. And by real I mean, bunk. And by bunk I mean, grad school has almost sucked every ounce of happiness and optimism out of my life and I’m so glad it’s over…

torn

I’ve been searching for a post-grad job for months now. MONTHS. And you know what? I haven’t landed a single interview.

Is there something wrong with me? Who knows.

Anyway, beyond the “lack of interviews” issue, I have no idea where I will end up after my lease ends in July. I will either end up in Washington DC or New York City. Those are the options. A big part of me really, really needs/wants to get out of the DC Metro area. On the other hand, there’s a small piece of me that really wants to live in Eastern Market. Sure, I never got the chance to really live in the District (I only worked there), and perhaps my view of the area would change – I’m not a huge fan… but now isn’t really the time to give DC that chance.

I really want to explore a new city. New York isn’t 100% “new” for me – I was born there and lived in the Bronx and Manhattan until I was 9. What I’m craving is to experience the city as an adult. I want to explore a completely new environment. I also want to live in a city where stores don’t close at 6pm because the government workers have retreated to suburbia. And did I mention most of my family lives in the NYC/Northern NJ/Connecticut area? I miss them.

Washington DC is okay, I guess. The metro is clean. I know people here (Everyone from UVA ends up here at some point in their lives + current school/work friends). It’s close to my parents’ house (well, not really – but closer than NYC). There are good restaurants. I know my way around…

I think that’s it.

Either way, none of this will matter if I don’t get a job in NYC. Things will be worse if I don’t get a job AT ALL.